This is not a gender reveal post, unfortunately. How I wish it was! As soon as we have had our gender reveal celebration I will splash it all over social media! But today I am discussing the near-taboo subject of gender disappointment.
Simone from An Ordinary Gal recently published a fantastically tactful and well-written post dealing with this exact subject and I urge you to read it here. The bottom line is that one truly cannot be disappointed when finding out wh the sex of their baby. Because how dare you wish for anything other than this perfect little miracle. And while part of me agrees with this, because pregnancy truly IS a miracle in itself, I can still sympathize with someone feeling unhappy (for lack of a better term). Or possibly disconnected from their baby once finding out the gender.
I have always seen myself as a boy mom. My parents will tell you all I ever said from a young age was “one day I will be a mom of four boys”. Yes, the numerical value has completely fallen away – LOL!. But prior to falling pregnant I always thought I would be one of those women who are truly disappointed to find out they are having the opposite. While I am an extremely girly girl, I could never picture myself as the mother of a daughter.
Fast forward to actually falling pregnant (and as I type this post we are 8 days away from our gender scan), and I am having a baby with someone who wants the opposite gender. Honestly, either of us will be THRILLED with either gender, but Chris would prefer the scan to reveal a baby girl bouncing around inside. I find this so interesting because we seem to be in the rare percentage of couples where the female wants a male and vice versa.
As we have progressed in the pregnancy Chris has pointed out all the incredible upsides to us raising a daughter. And hey, I did not need much convincing! I would be over the moon with a baby girl! Even my mom (who has 2 daughters and 1 son) said she would love for me to have that uber-special relationship between a mother and daughter. But considering we have decided we are probably a “one and done” couple, I will never be able to raise the son I always imagined and you have to let go of a lot of what you had sort of pictured and looked forward to in your future.
Again, I am just so so very thankful that we even fell pregnant. I am in no way dismissing the women who try for years only to be forced to give up on any and all futures with a child.
In Chris having to assist me in imagining our future with a daughter, I have had to do the same with him. You would think someone who workes in the trade industry and spends every weekend watching rugby and soccer – sorry – FOOTBALL would love a little buddy to cart around to matches on weekends. Weirdly enough, no. He cannot see himself with a son, just like a cannot see myself with a daughter.
So we’ve sort of had to jostle each other along and point out cute daddy/son and mom/daughter duos when we see them out and about, as well as list aaaall the reasons we should be excited about either gender. But I truly feel that I am going to hit the ceiling with excitement no matter WHAT gender prevails. Just knowing the baby HAS a gender at all is enough for me to want to combust with excitement. Even Chrissy has started called baba “he” now and again. As opposed to ONLY calling the baby a “she” over the last while!
If all goes to plan we will be finding out the gender next Friday. BUT the result will go into an envelope which my mom will take to the bakery. We will have a gender reveal cake baked which we will cut in front of our family. My family and Chris’s have not even met yet – how is that for crazy! So this is sure to be a wonderful bonding experience. And my mom will be sure to take a peek at the result. Juuuust in case we get a colour blind baker assigned to the cake 😉
I don’t know how much of a “mom’s instinct” is true… but I feel as if I’m carrying a girl. I don’t know. Maybe it is all Chris’s talk about Baby being a girl baby but I visualize Baby as a female. Ahh – the not knowing!!! I am almost regretting the idea of the gender reveal..
Essentially we will have the gender results for five whole weeks before finding out the gender. Can you even handle that?! I’m an impatient person and it’s going to be so difficult knowing the answer is right there in an envelope. I could call my mom at any time to open it if I wanted to!!
We also have our names picked out already. This is being kept a secret until after the birth. We have been advised against telling anyone the names because people seem to think you value their opinion – negative OR positive – when actually, you may very well be thrilled with the name/s you chose. Clearly, if someone has settled on a name they are happy with it, right?! So we are staying as far away from unwarranted opinions as possible! I just cannot wait for the two of us to be able to talk to Baby using his/her name 🙂