From social media exposés to trending headlines, the term narcissist is being thrown around more than ever — especially in the wake of abuse allegations against music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs. But behind the buzzword lies a real psychological struggle affecting both those who exhibit narcissistic traits, and those who are left emotionally damaged in their wake.
So, the question remains: can narcissists actually change?
Kerry Rudman, Neurofeedback Specialist and founder of Brain Harmonics in South Africa, says it’s one of the most common — and emotionally loaded — questions she hears. And the answer offers a mix of hope, caution, and science.
While only a trained mental health professional can diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), recent high-profile behaviour — like that attributed to Diddy — has sparked widespread public conversations about narcissism.
Combs’ alleged actions, as described by multiple accusers, strongly align with traits associated with NPD: a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, lack of empathy, manipulation, and denial of wrongdoing.
“These patterns are textbook narcissistic traits,” explains Rudman. “When you look at reported behaviours such as gaslighting, exploitation, and an inflated sense of superiority, it paints a picture of someone who is emotionally disconnected from the impact of their actions.”
One of Combs’ ex-girlfriends, Cassie Ventura, recently testified in court about the abuse she allegedly endured — and how she sought healing afterward. Cassie shared that she underwent neurofeedback therapy to help process her trauma, describing it as a treatment where “they hook your brain up to a machine and you watch something and it regulates your brain waves.”
While at Willow House, an addiction and trauma treatment centre in Arizona, she received neurofeedback once a week to help address PTSD and opiate addiction. Her public sharing has brought global attention to this lesser-known but powerful brain training modality — and its healing potential for those impacted by emotional abuse.
“It’s incredibly validating for survivors to hear someone speak about real recovery,” says Rudman. “Cassie’s experience mirrors that of many clients we work with who come in after toxic or narcissistic relationships.”
Neurofeedback is a non-invasive brain training method that uses EEG technology to monitor and regulate brainwave activity. Essentially, your brain gets real-time feedback on how it’s operating and learns how to function more optimally — much like training a muscle at the gym.
“It’s not about diagnosing or labelling,” says Rudman. “It’s about helping the brain move out of chronic fight-or-flight patterns and into calmer, more regulated states. This can have a profound impact on how someone processes emotions, reacts to stress, and connects with others.”
Traditional talk therapy often has limited success with narcissistic clients, primarily because genuine change requires insight, accountability, and empathy — all of which are often missing. Neurofeedback, however, works on a different level.
“Because it doesn’t require talking or even awareness, neurofeedback can begin to shift the underlying patterns that support narcissistic behaviours,” explains Rudman. “It can help regulate overactive areas of the brain associated with defensiveness, anxiety, and emotional reactivity.”
That said, she’s quick to caution that neurofeedback is not a magic fix.
“Someone with entrenched narcissistic traits needs to want to change. Without willingness, even the best tools won’t work. But for people on the spectrum of narcissism — especially those shaped by trauma — we’ve seen neurofeedback support real shifts in emotional awareness and behaviour.”
If you’ve been hurt by someone who shows narcissistic traits, it’s important to know: you’re not alone, and your brain can heal too.
“Victims of narcissistic abuse often walk away questioning their reality, dealing with anxiety, brain fog, and emotional exhaustion,” says Rudman. “Neurofeedback has helped many of our clients find calm, rebuild self-trust, and regulate their own emotional responses after years of psychological manipulation.”
While the public debate around celebrities like Diddy has shone a harsh spotlight on narcissism, it’s also helped to open up important conversations — about trauma, recovery, and the neurobiology of change.
For victims and survivors, healing is possible. For those willing to change, growth is possible. And in both cases, understanding the brain might just be the place to begin.
For more information, please visit www.brainharmonics.co.za
